The death of the brother

I never knew if you rebelled against God or against our father.
You've learned by heart the dictionary of sins.
They used to whip you
But your pain seemed to survive everything.
Before you died you whispered:
Father, there is no one left to say the Caddish for me.
Tell God: a man died.
Nothing more.

Background: the brother- torn between his need to believe and his deep doubts. The Caddish is a Jewish prayer said by the son for his dead father